Broke isn’t happening to You

I identified as “broke” for most of my adult life.

I can’t afford this.  I’m too broke for that. 

They were regular day-to-day thoughts that rented a lot of space in my head but didn’t ever actually pay me anything. It appeared that I had signed an ongoing lease with no end in sight. 

Referring to my journal as the “Broke Chronicles”, I often thought maybe my fortune might be in publishing it. Every entry was juicy with back-to-back shit hitting the fan. Maybe it’d be called “Broke & Broken”

I felt helpless and it showed in my day-to-day choices or inaction. 

Despite the fact that I crossed my fingers every time I started my car, I used my identity of being “broke” to justify ignoring the “Check engine” light or the janky rattling noise. I had no clue what the issue was or how much it cost, but I felt too broke to find out. Each time I started the engine, I crossed my fingers, and hoped that the car didn’t blow up before I got to work.

Inevitably this learned helplessness bled into my business habits. This was ironic because I thought my business would be the thing that saved me and my financial woes.

Instead, my “But I’m broke” narrative clung to me early in private practice...like a toxic codependent couple throughout the entirety of my 20s. 

I was sick of having just barely enough. I blamed the endless list of “when” after “when” after “when”... 

I’ll have more than enough money…

When I’m done with school. 

When I get a good job with benefits. 

When I get a raise.  

When I get more experience.  

When the holidays are over.  

When I replace the car tires.  

When I pay off this credit card. 

The list of “when’s” went on and on. I would wait through one “when” only to have it promptly replaced by two more.  

Maybe you can relate? 

One thing I wish I’d realized sooner that I want you to know is that you don’t have to wait for things to turn around for you to make your next BOSS move!

For instance, maybe you’re new in private practice and your website isn’t live. You’ve got the copy and you like it 80% but you really want more updated professional photos.  

You might circle in this cycle: 

“When my site is live, then I’ll get more ideal clients”

“When I get new professional photos done, then I’ll make the site live.”

“When I get the money, I’ll get the photos done.” 

“When I get more clients, I’ll get the money”

And round and round ya go feeling stuck…waiting.

An action you could take right now would be to publish the damn site already so clients can find you and learn how you can help them! You can update your photos once you get them.

Perfectionism be gone!

Oftentimes, the thing that would increase our financial flow is the thing that we are NOT taking action on because of a string of “when’s.” And trust me, there’s always actions that you CAN take. You just have to get out of your way.

There will always be “when’s” swirling around. I can’t tell you how many colleagues told me that I had to take insurance when first starting my private practice. I could’ve believed that I had to “pay my dues” or wait until I’d had more experience to be private pay. 

But I decided to take more ownership in what was possible for me. 

So can you. 

First you have to ask yourself “Is this when even mine?” 

Like me, you may have to shed a lot of “shoulds” and “whens” to allow yourself to have a thriving private practice and livelihood. 

Also be careful of the tribe you confide in. Would you seek clinical consultation from a professional baseball player? No. 

So, if you are striving for a 15 client caseload with balance and breaks and PTO...it doesn’t make sense to seek support and validation from a miserable stressed-out therapist who is seeing 35 clients a week on insurance panels. 

Seek out community that is doing what you want or is working towards that. There’s enough mindset work without the additional noise.

I used to operate like “broke” was happening to me. Maybe you feel like you don’t have much control either?

I know it can feel so helpless when one life curveball seems to hit after another. But when you are in private practice, you have the final say.  Everyday, you make choices that can lead towards or away from having the security to free those inevitable curveballs. 

You are the boss. Are you being a good one to yourself now? Or are you telling yourself you’ll take action when _________ (fill in the blank).

What action can you take today to walk towards financial security? 

It could be setting up a consultation with a business coach you’ve been following for a while.

It could be having the conversation that you’ve been avoiding with that chronic canceling client about enforcing your cancellation fee moving forward. 

It could be finally sending a notice to your clients that you’re getting off insurance panels.

You don’t have to stay stuck in this when-cycle. 

Are you going to get off insurance panels when you feel secure? Or are you going to get off insurance panels to create space for security?  

I chose to turn my “when’s” into wins. Will you?