Breaking up with your full time job

You want to quit your full time job. Maybe it’s an agency or a group practice.  You know you eventually will need to quit to grow your own practice.  But you’re scared shitless.  I get it.

No, I really do.  I had been miserable, overworked, and underpaid at my agency job but too terrified to leave. On top of that, I worked for a group practice while daydreaming of running my own practice which was technically open, but was more of a hobby at that point.

I still cringe when I recall seeing 30+ clients a week, drowning in paperwork, AND resentful when I got my paycheck. I developed compassion fatigue. I cried many days after work feeling stuck, stressed, and hopeless. I was just a shell of myself. 

I burned out eventually and finally dropped my agency job.  Though I hate to admit it, in addition to working more at the group practice, I immediately and impulsively ADDED another job, a late night bartending gig. I convinced myself that I needed it to safely “build” my practice.  Who quits one draining job to replace it with another dead-inside job keeping them in the same predicament? Me, that’s who. I just didn’t feel “safe” enough to go all in on my business. Plus I didn’t really have a plan. I was pretty much winging it.

Perhaps you’ve started your practice but it feels more like a side hobby than a business. You are waiting for the “right time” to quit your full time job.  But you don’t have the time or energy to put into building your practice. It’s like staying in a relationship that drains you while fantasizing about a more fulfilling relationship that you aren’t sure exists. Except it does.  

If any of this applies to you, it’s time to make a specific plan to transition out so you can be fully vested in YOUR private practice!

You might be thinking, “But Jelisha my full-time job is secure! I can’t just jump ship!”

I hear you. I used to say the same thing as I dragged myself out of bed every morning wishing my life was different.  Except it could’ve been…much sooner! I just had to choose it.  But I was convinced that I couldn’t risk losing that security.  But is your job really too legit to quit?

Let’s define security. Is it secure to dread going to work? To feel resentment when you get paid? Do you feel secure pouring into others when your cup only has a few drops in it to begin with?  Are you able to nourish personal relationships when you barely have enough gas in your tank to make it through your work day? 

Trust me, I get your fears. When I thought of losing my “security”, I obsessed over health insurance and paid vacation days. I couldn’t fathom that I could provide those things for myself. Deep down inside, I had a different definition of security.  It just took me a while to tap into it. 

Security for me is freedom to actually have a say about my schedule, my ideal clients, policies, my fees, and my income.  Secure was me being able to actually have a full lunch without guilt or being able to openly say I need “15 minutes” in between each client and to actually receive that.  Security did not look like me chasing down insurance companies for claims that they would never pay me.

My “secure” job had the final say-so about everything. If I have no say about baseline day-to-day things that impact my well-being, then what the hell is so secure about that? I was sick of not having the ability to practice the self-care that I preached to my clients. I felt like a tired fraud. So I had to leave. If you relate to this, so do you.

I want to be clear that I am NOT saying to quit your full time job today BUT I AM saying that you need to make the DECISION to quit with a specific date and begin preparing an exit plan. Now is the time to go from “wanting” to leave to “choosing” to start.

If you still feel paralyzed by fear, that’s okay. It means that you are on the brink of growth. Instead of staying stuck, I want you to list all of the reasons why you feel that you shouldn’t quit your job. Then, for every one of those reasons, list another reason why you should.

If you can’t come up with one “should” for each “shouldn’t” then I want you to jump on facebook, google, or bumble friends for all I care and seek out a clinician who jumped into private practice full time and is doing great. Find the positive stories and the evidence that support where you want to go. Community is key when you are navigating the discomfort that precedes growth! Trust me, it’s been my sanity. 

You don’t have to close your eyes and imagine your dream practice. You can make the decision today. Until you decide to resign from your job, you’re essentially resigned from your dreams. I hope you’ll join me in choosing to create security for yourself.  It’s better than ice cream.  You’ll see.