Are you a good Boss to you?
Expanding the Bossibilities in your Business
Having had a variety of jobs since the age of 16, I can say that I’ve been exposed to a variety of personalities and styles when it comes to bosses. While always clocking the tendencies of bosses that drove me nuts, I would also note the attributes that I hoped to embody when I had my own business and team. Between the range of working in hospitality positions, being a nanny, and working that 9-5 desk job life, I’ve been exposed to a wide range of the best to the bullshit bossibilities.
The highlights include the overwhelmed micromanager who would swing between telling me how to chew my gum and offloading his personal troubles onto me as I was trying to clock out. I knew that when he called me into the office to “check in”, it essentially meant I was about to be emotionally dumped on. I was an involuntary underpaid therapist before I even got my license.
And then there was my favorite, who gave me space to do my thing, acknowledged a good job done, gave constructive feedback and was cool as a cucumber in work crises. They modeled good healthy boundaries which emboldened me to do the same.
Oh and I’ll never forget one restaurant boss that I had, who had more apathy than I knew was possible for a boss. For the first time, I didn’t have to lie about calling in “sick” when I was exhausted from working insane hours or from just being an irresponsible 20-something. I would call and say, “I’m hungover. Probably gonna be late...or not make it at all.” I could practically see her shrugging her shoulders as she hung up the phone. Her apathy was contagious amongst the staff and I’d say the only upside to that job was how freeing it was for such transparency to be the norm.
Why am I talking about bosses? Because I talk with SO many therapists in private practice who are not fully owning their boss badassery in their business. When we as therapists are exhausted, broke, and on the brink of burnout, we not only do a disservice to our clients, we are not good bosses to ourselves!
Many therapists that I work with in private practice don’t even own the fact that they are a business owner. They feel tired. They are afraid to take up space. They are financially stressed. They lack boundaries. They don’t say “no” nearly enough. They feel overwhelmed even though they have the final say as to when and how they work. I’ve had bosses that were clearly burnt out, miserable, and stressed and I felt the brunt of it, even if they smiled through the pain.
But Jelisha, it’s just me in solo practice! I don’t have any employees.
Well then it is that much more important that you are a good boss to yourself! Especially given the crazy ride of 2020 and the continued shenannigans barely into January. Being a good boss to yourself is absolutely essential, not optional.
What are signs that you are not being a good boss to yourself?
You don’t schedule time off or take vacations. Someone close to you pretty much has to die in order for you to take time off...and even then, you check your email obsessively.
You are scheduling clients back-to-back with little to no time to decompress in between sessions, move your body, eat lunch, etc.
You have another job that is sucking your soul dry. If you are straddling a job that you dream of leaving while trying to build your private practice baby on the side, it’s difficult to be a good boss to yourself. It’s like staying in a toxic marriage while trying to nurture and grow a healthy affair on the side. No body’s happy.
You are stressed about money. You are barely paying yourself. You are not charging enough and have to see more clients than you sustainably can.
You have scarcity-mindset and make decisions for your practice from a place of fear.
Your recurring thoughts include:
Not enough time. Not enough money. Not enough ideal clients.
What would your performance review say about you as a boss? What would you slip into the complaint box as the employee of you?
If you don’t like what came up in the complaint box, I encourage you to start with what you wish you felt. Visualize and/or journal what you’d like to experience. I really like to start with thinking about my day-to-day feelings and thoughts. Simply reflecting on your last week of work can give you a great place to begin to expand the bossibilities for you and your practice.
Here are some prompts to think through:
What would you no longer incessantly worry about?
What would then rent that additional mental space?
How would you feel at the end of the day after seeing clients?
How many would you see per week that feels really good in your body?
What would your bank account look like? How would you feel about money?
What do you wish you created time for last week? What got in the way of that?
Next, think through your typical day and jot down your day-to-day habits and decisions. Then identify what choices are aligned with what you want to feel and experience as a boss in business. Then decide on one realistic actionable step that you can take immediately to begin to shift into expansiveness.
This action doesn’t have to be a big performance. In fact, it needs to feel totally doable. Maybe it starts with blocking off an hour for lunch. Maybe it’s sending an email to clients about not having evening availability after X date. Maybe it’s asking your spouse to chip in more with chores.
After you’ve done this, share what you came up for you with a friend! We are more likely to manifest our bossibilities when we have the support of like-minded community and when we share what we are working towards. I implore you to take up space!! Tell a friend or trusted colleague what boss moves you are making. I’d love to hear from you myself! Tag me or DM me on instagram (Savingthesaver) and let me know what bossibilities you are stepping into for 2021!